Armadillo Walkies

I took my armadillo down to the park
Where he caused a bit of a stir.
Most of the people who stopped to look
Thought it was a dog with no fur.

A man said, “It looks like a tortoise!”
Another laughed, “What a strange pet!”
But keep your dogs and cats, your hamsters and rats,
An armadillo’s the best you can get!

After a run on the grass we went home.
My pet was real tired, so
As his eyes slowly shut I quietly put
A pillow under my armadillo!

Chopsy the Chubby Chihuahua

Look who’s coming down the street,
Belly dragging on the ground:
It’s Chopsy the chubby Chihuahua!
The podgiest doggy around.

He’s not very big height-wise,
But round his waist instead.
He’s yappy but happy, has four little legs
And two big bug-eyes in his head.

Don’t expect to see him chasing cats,
A greyhound he is not!
Chopsy’s so chubby, as soon as he runs,
He collapses on the spot.

Some dogs have a little coat
To warm their doggy bits.
Not Chopsy – his owners have tried everywhere
But can’t find one that fits.

Not that he really needs one,
Because of his shapely form.
Instead of shivering like other small dogs
His layers of fat keep him warm.

He lies in his extra-large basket
And never will be thin,
‘Cos he never exercises
And eats dog food by the tin.

Because he eats so much doggy dinner
His bowel movements are super!
His owners have had to have specially made
An industrial-strength pooper-scooper.

Yep! There goes little Chopsy,
Waddling at one mile an hour.
You never did see a dog so portly
As Chopsy the chubby Chihuahua!

Poems from
The Armadillo Under My Pillow by Chris White
(The King's England Press, 2002)