The Bear in my Wardrobe

There’s a bear that lives in my wardrobe,
He keeps trying on my clothes.
He pulls on my shirt and jumper,
Wipes my hanky on his nose.
My trousers he’ll yank over his stubby legs,
Tries socks on pair after pair.
Sometimes he’ll fling the doors open wide
And run round in my underwear.
The bear I have no objection to,
Even though I think he’s insane,
It’s just that after he’s tried my clothes on
Nothing fits me again.

My Hamster

My hamster’s only got one eye
In the middle of his head.
He just sits there and stares at me
As I get ready for bed.

And when I walk around my room
I somehow still can feel
His hamster eye fixed right on me
Even though he’s on his wheel.

At night-time when all proper pets
Towards sleep should be heading,
I still can see his beady eye
Peeping through his bedding.

I think next time I get one
I’ll make sure that mum buys
One that’s a little nicer
And has got both of its eyes!

Poems from
Bitey the Veggie Vampire by Chris White
(The King's England Press, 2000)