pottypoets.com King's England Press pottypoets.com
WRITERS INTO EDUCATION

---

Read a Chris White poem? Press start. Enjoy!

BITEY THE VEGGIE VAMPIRE

Bitey was a vampire,
Who wasn't very good.
He couldn't stand the taste of meat
Or the smell of blood.

Whilst his vampire friends ran wild in the dark,
Bitey could not find his niche.
As they bit necks and ate human flesh,
Bitey just fancied some quiche.

The outfit was right, the gothic clothes,
It was Halloween when he was born.
If only the necks he was meant to devour
Were made from a nice piece of quorn.

Bitey tried to be evil,
To cause a bit more of a fright,
So off he set, fangs glistening,
Into the summer's night...

When the sun rose, though, the truth became clear,
Bitey had not left his mark.
The most daring act he'd committed all night?
He ate a parsnip in the dark!

The other vampires just laughed at him,
None of them understood,
That even if Bitey grazed his own knee
He'd faint at the sight of his blood.

"But my diet's healthy!" he protested.
"I feel fine, and, I suppose,
I save money on dry-cleaning
With no blood-stains on my clothes."

Alas, Bitey's story does not finish well,
It does not finish well at all,
For the malfunctioning vampire's aversion to meat
Was, in the end, his downfall.

You see Bitey was slain, it was just last week
When his whole world fell apart.
He was found late at night, when the moon was bright,
With a 12 ounce steak through his heart.


Click here to tell us what
you thought about this poem.



Start | Stop

---

Copyright © 2001 Moose Manuscripts

Need help with typesetting? Please click the moose for details.