Dad put out a bowl of beer
To keep slugs off his veg,
But our stupid dog drank it
Then fell into the hedge.
He started to wail,
Which drove us all mad,
Then he ate my trainers
And tried to have sex with Dad.
He barked to next door’s dog
That they would be friends forever
Before snuggling up to the cat
Saying, "We want to be together!"
Mum said, "I think he’s drunk.
Come on, good boy, Rover."
The dog gave her a soppy grin
Then the stupid mutt fell over.
Next morning when he woke,
With a headache he couldn’t bear,
He had a road cone in his kennel
And thought, "How did that get there?"
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