Carol

Carol the worm had no friends, I’m afraid,
Her life was one long toil.
She longed for another to burrow along
And join her in the soil.

Days turned to weeks, turned to months, turned to years,
And Carol was still alone.
No other worms came calling
At her quiet underground home.

So one day Carol took action and cried,
“I think that I have earned
My right to be happy and not miserable.
Today, this worm has turned!”

Carol’s a different worm these days,
She’s got loads of friends now;
She gets to speak with them every day,
Let me tell you how:

Carol bought a PC,
And all the friends she’s met
Are the product of being the world’s first worm
To be on the Internet!

The Big, Big Guinea Pig

My guinea pig won’t stop eating,
That’s all it seems to do.
I used to feed it twice a day
But now it’s twenty-two!

It’s growing too big for its cage
And I think that very soon,
At the rate my guinea’s growing
It will take up all my room.

I’ll have to move my bed out
And all my books and toys.
Imagine what a smell there’d be
And just think of the noise.

I’d have to move it to the yard
If it grew that big.
It could scare burglars away,
My own guard guinea pig.

And if it started growing to
An even bigger size,
I’d need a Ferris wheel
To give it exercise.

But imagine how my friends would stare
And how they’d make a fuss,
When I came to school on my huge pet
Instead of on the bus.

I hope he doesn’t get that big
‘Cos I think, without a doubt,
It would be the worst thing in the world
To clean a giant guinea pig out!

Poems from
Wang Foo the Kung Fu Shrew by Chris White
(The King's England Press, 2001)